In Blighty we love our traditions. If we’re not marvelling at the televised State Opening ceremony, then we’re certainly arranging a customary knees-up for a Bank Holiday.
United we stand as an island of stiff-upper-lippers, making the most of our temperamental summers, forever uncertain about Daylight Saving Time, and whether or not we should opt for the bourbon over the custard cream – or perhaps that’s just me? 
And amongst the hassle of inside out brolly’s in the pouring rain, gruelling overtime spent at work and sadistic email-inboxes that refuse to ever be empty, we always make time for afternoon tea.
Aah, as soon as 12pm hits I’m filling up the kettle!
Great, but that isn’t afternoon tea…
Whyever not? – It’s the afternoon…
Indeed. However per se, afternoon tea is specifically a 4pm dalliance with the hot beverage, as part of a light meal; you wouldn’t be completely condemned for partaking in this ritual at 3:59 – unless perhaps, you were spotted doing so by an emaciated ghost version of the late Duchess of Bedford - but that is the tradition.
I’m confused, why exactly is 4pm the tradition?
Well, despite that fact that nowadays you can’t walk for more than two seconds down any high street without being bombarded with franchise after franchise of American-chain-Italian-themed coffee shop, (or a Greggs), in the 18th century there were but two set times to stuff one’s face; breakfast and dinner.
People would become famished in the wait for the latter, and soon, afternoon tea became a great idea in holding them over until their main meal at around 8pm.
Okay, it’s finally 4 o’clock! Tea-bag → hot water → milk…
You could do it that way – but only if you are a glutton for punishment, who enjoys terrible tea!
If you like the good stuff, there is an ancient order that equals the perfect cuppa; the milk must go in first. And before I am accused of being the tea-police, this idea is owed to chemistry.
Chemistry? Don’t tell me there’s a science to making tea?!
Quite! – Loughborough University’s Dr. Andrew Stapley concluded that the recipe for the perfect cuppa begins with the ice cold milk hitting the bottom of the cup – first:
“If milk is poured into hot tea, individual drops separate from the bulk of the milk, and come into contact with [...] high temperatures [...] for enough time for significant denaturation degradation – to occur. This is much less likely to happen if hot water is added to the milk.“
And before you ask, I’m pretty sure denaturation degradation is science-speak, for rubbish tea!
Okay 4pm, milk first, sugar second – afternoon tea complete, right?
You’re nearly there. You need to decide whether this is ‘high‘ or ‘low‘ tea.
High or low? Does that refer to which socioeconomic class I fall into?
Not quite, but that is a common misreading. These terms actually refer to the height of the table they are served on.
- High tea (more of an evening tea) is a reference to tea that is traditionally served on a high-set table such as a dining table, commonly found in the dining room.
- Low tea (or afternoon tea) refers to tea that is traditionally served on a low-set table such as a coffee table, commonly found in the living room.
So the name of my tea, actually hangs on which table I choose to place my teacup? 
As riveting as that sounds, it isn’t so.
The term high also refers to the kinds of nosh served with the tea. High tea was the end of day feast for the hungry working classes during the late 18th century’s industrial revolution.
It was a time when famished workmen would come home to enjoy dining tables decorated with particularly hearty meals, such as shepherd’s pie and Welsh rarebit.
On the other hand, low tea is considerably lighter and is traditionally served with scones, sandwiches or pastries.
Ooh! For a snack, I’m going with scones, jam and cream!
Yum! I see you’ve gone for cream tea over light or full! 
Cream, light and full? Wait, what?
You’ve chosen one of the three types! Afternoon tea, traditionally served in tea rooms across the country, can be taken in any of these three forms.
Cream tea is usually served with yummy scones, sweet jam and cold fresh cream. Light tea is a mix of scones and other sweet treats such as Madeleines and battenburg cake, while full tea is served with a melange of savory bites like quiches & finger sandwiches, also with scones and dessert.
So there you have it – the only guide you’ll ever need to afternoon tea! Now, go 4(pm)th and brew!
Written as an entry to the Whittard of Chelsea Afternoon Tea Blogger Carnival
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