18 things I cuss, but secretly love about Britain

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Pigeons getting braver…

They’re not even jumping or flying off when you walk by them anymore. They walk wholesale nfl jerseys around the ends like they own it and they’ll hang around just waiting for you to drop your last Rolo. Like a bawse!

Every Ill-named sensationalist programme that ever made it onto Channel 4…

The Oakleys Outlet Boy Who Gave Birth to His Twin, The Man Who Slept for 19 Years, The Girl with X-Ray Eyes, Half-ton Man, The Curse of the Mermaid?

Meet Body Shock: Not only do these documentary titles sound like ideas for the next books in the Millennium Series that got left on the cutting room floor, (or possibly headlines in the Daily Mail) they also often got my attention for being really interesting…

Everybody who ever starred in Eastenders; eventually coming back to ‘rescue’  Walford…

The Queen Vic’s revolving door. Enders definitely broke boundaries when they started resurrecting folk, but lately they’ve just kept ’em coming back. And why not? – It’s something to talk about at least…

The state of the River Thames…

When I see our dirty old, nappy-bag and tin-can polluted, freezing cold brown Thames, I think: “Look at that brilliant culture filled, bridge accompanied river!”

It’s like an annoying sibling, 2.4A a slightly grating friend or Eastenders; it’s ours to cuss, no-one else’s!

Annual ‘shock-horror’ reactions to the snow…

FFS! It’s cold. It’s winter. It snows. BUY WELLIES – have a coke and a smile and…well you know the rest.

Annual ‘shock-horror’ reactions to the British “summertime”…

Ooh a heat-wave! Ooh the sun! Ooh tan lines! Ooh bathing suits! Ooh the lido! Must drink water! People are wearing flip-flops! People are holidaying! Kids are on school breaks! Yeah, and? 😯 Again…coke & a smile.

Louis Theroux being so amazingly cringe-worthy

LooThoo, that’s what I’m calling him. I cringe through his documentaries whilst either constantly upping or lowering the volume and wondering how he has nfl jerseys cheap the cojones, the audacity or the permission for whomever or whatever he’s prying into at that moment….still, his name’s brilliant – as is the one I’ve given him…

The twice yearly hoo-ha when cheap nfl jerseys the clocks change (or Daylight Saving Time)…

This year it’s March 31st & October 27th. There. Noboby will be ever late, or early for anything now….

The idea to ‘Grow Heathrow’ not quite taking off…

I cheap jerseys wholesale don’t love that the airport is struggling with capacity and so needs and can’t quite figure cheap nfl jerseys out how to get another runway without making people homeless. What I love is that the airport can’t just evict people without a backlash, & squatters ain’t having it…

Ever-increasing opportunities to jordans for cheap create ‘famous-for-nothings’

Unlike New York, where ‘if you can make it there, you’ll make it anywhere’ – it seems we’ll just chuck those opportunities left and right and then spend the rest of the time regretting the decision in the comments section on YouTube. Yep – thanks to Big Brother, Idol, X-Factor, TOWIE etc…there are endless lists of “socialites” and wannabe’s that we’re stuck with.

Unfriendly strangers, and weird friendly ones…

You want a smile in a busy street of people, when your hobbling along with a shopping bag, trying not to slip in the icy snow residue; you won’t get one though – we’ve been through that. 😐

You don’t want a conversation with the town drunk, a slightly unhinged looking stranger with a bone to pick with society or a chugger – but that my friends, is what you’ll get!

How proud we are when our lot get all Americanized…

Hugh Laurie, Dominic West, Carey Mulligan, Anthony Hopkins – they’re all brilliant. We love that they’ve high-tailed over to the states faster than you can say iHop. I like movies, they make movies. Perfect.

Total mockery of Americans who butcher our accents…

I think Don Cheadle being Cheap Jerseys a cockney in Oceans 11, was bigger injustice than Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. From what I’ve heard, others cringe with me. If you Kullanım ain’t Johnny Depp doing Jack Sparrow, and you ain’t Brad Pitt doing Mickey O’Neil, you ain’t about that life. *shrugs*

Rubbishy signposted streets…

How are we meant to get anywhere anymore? Who actually uses an A-to-Z successfully? This fork in the road didn’t exist before, did it? It’s pretty much a free-for all on the roads and nobody can afford bus fare; the upside? Getting lost in London, it’s all abit magical…*drifts off…*

False senses of security about the Eurovision song contest…

We haven’t won since ’97, yet since then (in the UK) we’ve had hit after hit and loads Cheap Jordan Shoes of brilliant music. I don’t get it.
I don’t remember ever watching this in full, I couldn’t bear it. But every year, we send a retired band in and pollute telly with faux hopes and dreams…

Actually trying to play outdoor sports, outdoors…

Beach volleyball at the London Olympics? Hopes of actual Sun throughout a full Wimbledon? Outdoor film events? (Okay, so that last one’s not a sport, but still) Ha!

Coffee shops with foreign named beverages…

I thought I asked for ray ban sunglasses a large but the guy behind the counter keeps correcting me. Venti? Look, I said large man, I just want a large, not a language lesson!

Criminal overuse of the word “Amazing”…

I agree with the annual vote that wanted to BAN the word ‘Amazing‘ from ever being used again! Ever! Everything, everywhere isn’t always amazing. This should be used sparingly, otherwise it loses all meaning.


Great Britain, I ❤ you! 😀


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